Weird, but good learning experience today in the Chemo Zone. Let me clarify. I still get one component of my three drug chemo regimen. It is the part called Herceptin that, in combination with one little estrogen killing pill per day and one humongous shot that shoots a pellet of drugs that shut down my innocent little ovaries into my gut every three weeks, will hopefully keep my estrogen whore of a cancer at bay. I have a gene, called HER 2, which is positive in me, along with another progesterone lover. So, that just means that I HAVE NO ESTROGEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN, IN MY BODY!!! And that's ok. (So far no one has commented on my shorts, tank tops and flip-flops in freezing weather! ) These genes are preferable to the BRCA gene that Angelina Ballerina Jolie has. That particular gene is a mean SOB. I had that test done first thing at my Surgeon (shout out to Jennifer Tittensor rah rah!! I love her!!). Insurance doesn't usually pay for BRCA testing. you have to be in a really high risk category. So the BRCA test people send most of us a lovely little bill for 4 thousand dollars!!!! They have a patent on the test which on my end meant swishing scope three times and spitting it back into a container. Try holding scope in your mouth for a minute or two. See what happens. BURNBURNBURN!!!! Holy Hannah. anyway, the company called Meridian has the patent on this test and so they can charge whatever they well please cause they know you will probably be willing to pay for it to know you do or do not have Brangelina's gene. I would have made the same call she did. She was brave.
Anyway, they don't 'win 'em all' in the Chemo zone. I had my first experience of one of my co-pts. who, today, along with her family and our nurse, rang the bell for the last time. It slowly occurred to me what was going on. I hate it when my favorite nurse cries and she was crying, not in a YEY it's over way. It was an 'it's all over' kind of cry. It never occurred to me that she wouldn't be ok. She was a talker and everyone knew her and you are just supposed to get better. Only sometimes you don't. I am so grateful that my Chemo Nurses and my Cancer Docs decided to take their path in life down my path. It is not an easy job. Sometimes it just plain sucks. They are a different breed of health care workers. I am so grateful for their knowledge and there endurance and their ability to roll with whatever happens and adapt.
So right after they said goodbye to their sweet patient, a couple came back and by golly they were up up upset! So...they vented a little in front of all of us, understandably, and then our nurse, she said have a seat and let me finish here. Then she finished, got a rolling stool, rolled right in front of these distraught folks, knee to knee, looked them in the eye and asked them what happened. What happened was, they were not scheduled for Chemo today but since it was a time and day they have always had, they came, not aware that Chemo staff was only in for a half day due to New Years and all. Now you might think, no big deal, just come back on Friday, which is what the receptionist told them, and it came across to the couple as completely unfeeling and cold and bitchy. WELL let me tell YOU Miss "To Cool for School", (that's not really what I wanted to say..) it is a HUGE deal to come in and not be able to have Chemo. It happened to me once and I was devastated. Like they were expressing to the nurse, you are up and hyped the whole night before, you don't want chemo but putting it off is just the worst cause now you are behind and you have to do the whole anticipation thing all over again and its not something well people can even understand. It's a big deal.
Here's the thing, and this is what I learned again today. It IS what you say and it IS the way you say it. BUT, if you are uncaring and unfeeling and forget that the person standing in front of you, or over the phone, or over a text, is a living, breathing, feeling person, then your message will go down in flames. They will only remember the way you treated them. I am not sure what this sweet couple were more upset about, the message, or the delivery. This pt nearly quit her treatment right then and there because of the way someone chose to treat her. Cancer treatment is ASTRONOMICALLY expensive and not everyone has the blessing we have of fantastic health insurance like I have. They said they would go to Huntsman right then and there if it wasn't going to cost more. So anyway, after another kind compassionate NP came and spoke with her and smoothed it over and problem solved with them and arranged for treatment in a different place, they may have gone home and never come back.
This was my scary thought. There have been times, even in nursing that I have had less than stellar communications with people. Probably dozens,(well maybe not that much), but what if MY reaction to someone else's problem caused them to feel so defeated and hopeless that they made a bad decision? It could happen to any of us. It's true because I saw it happen today.
I am so grateful for the lovely people in my life, for instance, these peeps today, who show me how to be like them, like Jesus, to be more kind and less reactionary. They show me that the way you treat others creates or destroys. My friend always says' "I cant judge them... I have not walked in their mocs." My hottie therapist husband saysthat "Behavior is purposeful". So I am going to try to think of the purpose of my behavior, my thoughts, by actions and mostly my words. That's all.
I Love you readers of mine! Peace out and don't drink too much. Jrob
No comments:
Post a Comment