July 25, 2014

What's up buttercup? What's the word, hummingbird? What's the jist Physicist? I love Big Bang Theory. I have been frowned on by others for watching this ever so hillbillyarious sit com. Last night I watched episode after episode cause that sort of thing is my comfort. I, like Sheldon,, have my own 'spot' on the couch, well actually it is the whole couch. After five or six or seven hours in Chemo getting fluids, magnesium and potassium I can only think of my spot on the couch under quilts made especially for me. Then I watch one show over and over, I also absolutely adore "The Middle". I did not know about this little gem of brain candy till recently. Sue Heck is my HERO! Holly made me a little poster with lot's of pic's of Sue with the title "Sue Heck never gives up!" and I look at it every day and it makes me happy. My family will do just anything to keep the Mama happy. I don't think I blogged about my last day of Chemo. Just as I was finishing up, my entire family except Carly who was working all trooped through the door with matching shirts on, which featured a montage of wacky pictures which Holly took one day of me. then they all were personalized with a message from each of them, even the babies! even the tiniest baby Weston. It was so dang awesome. I never feel worthy of the Love and concern and work they all go to for me.  Then I got to ring the "Done with Chemo bell" which is cool but embarrassing all aat the same time.  I have been here many times when other patients have rung that bell. It's a nice touch.
So how bout that texting law?  Myself, I have noticed a large decrease of idiot behavior behind the screen, (not the wheel). For me, I have never texted while driving as I cannot walk and chew gum. Plus, who? who? in their right mind would text while driving after seeing those anti-text commercials on tv, in particular the one where the teenage girl is trying to write an apology to the parents of the child she killed while texting. HOLY SHIZ that would make me stop gum chewing while driving (I can drive with gum, just cant walk across a room). When that ad comes on I just want to jump through the screen and hug that stupid girl! I am a rescuer by nature, and a lover of the underdog. Call me the stupid one but I always think of them and hope they have a good support system as well as and  MORE IMPORTANTLY the victims of the said mayhem. I am getting better about the rescuing thing, as I have to keep my mouth shut much more now that I am a MeeMaw. I am doing pretty well I think, but if you ask the parents of my G-Kids, they may express a wish that I try a little harder.
My parents always taught me not to complain about the weather. Ever. They believed that if you complain about the weather, you are complaining directly about, or to the Big Guy upstairs. So, it stuck and I really try not to complain. This becomes challenging in my most disliked season, Summer. I am not complaining. I am saying that I cant freaking, creaking, wreaking, WAIT for Autumn. I about go nutty nuts when the apples get red, and I can hear the football games commentated just like "Friday Night Lights" and the grass looks nice again, and you get that second wind that helps you be motivated to get back into the yard and make it look all beautiful after the ravages of summer have, well ravaged the yard and my get up and go.  Since I started the big "C" treatment something weird in me will not let me wear short sleeves, even if I am hot sometimes. It is odd. anyone have any ideas why I am wearing a hoody, and yoga pants, shoes and socks? let me know your thoughts.  Chances are, I am just being my own weirdy self! and that's ok. Cheerio Mates!

July 16, 2014

So hey there all you sugar bears. So first, I am down in the Chemo zone where all the good fun happens!! You see, even though I am done with the tough chemo, I am still privileged to spend many many hours down here in this bright cheerful white clean as a whistle room with my nurses, whom we all adore. You see, I have had three kinds of chemo, two super mean ones, (not mean to me, they love me, they don't love my cancer cells). And one kind of Chemo that is going to keep me visiting the zone till, ohh, about February.  It is called Herceptin. it is a fascinating drug. I have a type of breast cancer that is called HER2 positive. (not the BRCA gene Angelina had, which really sucks if you have that one)!! Sooo I just bop in every three weeks and get me some Herceptin which costs my insurance co about a million bucks and I am grateful. Chemotherapy is EXTREMELY TO THE EXTREME expensive. Just so you know.
Someone took my seat today. I usually sit in the same chair in the corner of windows then I can turn my head when I want to forget where I am and look out at the landscaping which is very green and see all the cars go by on 5th west.  I also see lots of really interesting sorts walking the sidewalk. It's fun! But since my seat is gone and this place is hopping I sit in the middle where I can spy on the nurses. They kill me, they are doing a job that would make the average person cry and run away fast and they do it so wel an they do it fast and they also can just look at you and say "Hey doc, we think this one has a Pulmonary Embolism" and the docs, who are every bit as delightful and smarter than Hell say "OK." and guess what, they are right and then they let me cry and then they hug me and sneak over to buy flowers at the gift shop for me and hug me some more. My bad days in this white clean place are rare. There is not much chitchat between patients and that's ok.  I mean, we recognize each other and say hi maybe but before I started chemo I read up on 'Chemotherapy etiquette"  Who knew there was such a thing? But it says to use your brain and read body language and if they have headphones on then they would rather you leave them alone. Or if they are in the middle of a double issue of People Mag then for sure don't bug! We all just sort of ride this out in a routine that feels good to us.  I bring my favorite "Fight like a Girl!" bag that my friend Tiffany gave me and in it I usually keep my kindle, a real book, my crocheting, and a bunch of other dumb stuff I don't need. I kind of go back and forth and do this, then that blah, blah, but I have a tough time reading which I love to do. It is common to loose all means of concentration cause its sort of like your brain is like swiss cheese. Not gonna lie. It's frustrating as crap. I am spending three or four hours down here every other day because chemo really screws up my electrolytes and so I slide in, they hook me up, give me lots of magnesium which takes sometimes 5 hours.  Oh well. I am grateful for my garden variety of cancer. Who wouldn't wanna be ME!!

July 13, 2014

July 5, 2014

Hello all my Peeps!  just sittin here in the Utah heat doing nothing. Fourth of July is such a fabulous holiday and my good noodles! the aerials around our house were very very numerous and I figure if my neighbors can afford to host the  100 south of fire,,, then why do they live on 100 South? Just a little thought that blew through my Chemo riddled mind last night.  I don't mind, after the first year with the new law, not last year but the year before, I swear I thought it was the end of days. People surely do enjoy their big bangs and pretty lights.  I missed them for the first time in a long time last night.  Sometimes my brain does not process my thoughts and emotions appropriately. Don't you just hate when that happens? I mean, you know for sure what is what, and your brain wont let you remember it.  Then you get it back, and all is well, and you can almost feel normal and look around and ground yourself (that's a fancy therapeutic word), grounding helps you know who you are, where you are, and that you are safe and its ok to be peaceful and happy. You look around you and see WHAT IS. You know you are ok but still, that little devil on your shoulder nags and nags.  That, my dear people, is when you need that word called FAITH. That's all. Love you lovelies.